


The Choiceless Hope In Grief

by Oybeam1913



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Other, Slow Burn, also trying to fix this fuck UP of a village lmao, everybody is traumatized and they all need therapy, god what a good character but what a bad character arc, hopefully to fix sasukes shitty redemption arc, sorry sasuke :(
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 14:45:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18853189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oybeam1913/pseuds/Oybeam1913
Summary: Sasuke is back home after the war, but not everyone thinks that he should be. Not everyone thinks that Konoha is his '"home". Not everyone thinks that he should be alive. But Naruto does, and that's all that he needs to become the man that he should have been.





	1. Chapter 1

There is the steady drip, drip, drip of water as he sits in his cage, blind and unmoving. The floor beneath him is hard concrete, and despite repeated attempts to shift into a more comfortable position, he has finally accepted that there is no getting comfortable in this dungeon.

The air smells of mildew and wet steel. It’s also hot and suffocating, and from what he can discern he’s probably several dozens of feet underground. The bindings tying his hand behind his back are itchy and scratch at his wrist. His ankles are bound equally as tight and he’s beginning to lose feeling in his right leg. He shifts minutely.

Of course, Sasuke never thought he would be in this sort of situation. It’s not surprising, so to speak, but he was hoping for a little better outcome when he and Naruto finally pushed the water under the bridge. He certainly never expected to lose an arm and be bound in this dungeon of a cell.

As he shifts his feet scrape against the concrete floor and almost immediately hit the wall adjacent to him. He flexes his fingers and can feel the cold stone of the wall behind him. At a guess, his cell is laughably small. Just large enough to hold him, but not comfortably. The bandages around his eyes don’t help with the limited space. 

The sound of footsteps draws his attention and he stops moving, recognizing the all-too-familiar pattern.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Sasuke says as the footsteps halt in front of his cage. “I’m getting rained on.”

“I’m aware.” His former sensei’s voice is tight and formal. No trace of the man that Sasuke once knew. War does that to a person, he supposes. It takes a person and runs him through with a blade so sharp that it does irreparable damage. Nobody is the same after it, especially not someone who has been through two wars in their lifetime. 

“To what do I owe the privilege?”

“I’m here to discuss your punishment and/or rehabilitation.”

“Rehabilitation?” Sasuke is incredulous and wary. He shouldn’t be alive, let alone given the chance at recovery. He had been stuck in here for God knows how long, awaiting an execution date - or something of the sort. He stares blindly up at Kakashi’s voice. “I assumed I would be executed.”

There is a pause in which lies a heavy silence. “If it was up to me, you would be dead already.”

Another pause, weighted down with both pain and heartache. No one expected Sasuke to take the path he did. No one wanted that for him, and yet he still took that path. Took a path of desolation and destruction.

“I see.”

Kakashi continues, “Lucky for you, Naruto has vouched for you. And as Hokage, I’m in no position to deny the Savior of the Leaf.” Kakashi sighs, and then there is the click of a metal key in a metal lock. Another set of locks clicks and then Sasuke is being roughly pulled up by his armpit. The shackled ninja says nothing, but winces when one of his two guards open a cut on his back. He can feel blood start to slide down the length of spine, sticky and wet. 

“Take it easy,” Kakashi’s voice scolds, however he says this somewhat softly. “Naruto wouldn’t be pleased to see him handled in such a way.”

\-----

Sasuke shifts uncomfortably in his chair, still unable to see, and unable to accurately make out where he is located. They had dragged him -rather forcefully- through a series of hallways and corridors that he couldn’t recognize by sound and smell alone. And while he’s grateful not to be stuck in that wretched cell, he wishes he could see - or at the very least understand where he is.

The cold metal of the chair underneath him spreads throughout his body and very soon he is shivering. It’s cold, wherever he is.  
How long had he been here? Wasn’t Kakashi supposed to be seeing him? What about Naruto? Or Sakura? What had happened to “rehabilitation”?

Sasuke whips his head around when he hears a door open to his left. He blindly follows the sound of the footsteps that come after the shut and lock of the door. He doesn’t recognize these.

“You’ve caused quite a stir, you know.”

A beat. “Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka doesn’t let Sasuke continue, if he were to. “I want you to know that the only reason you are still alive is because Naruto has vouched for you-”

“I know.”

“And because of that no one dares go against one of the Neo-Sannin of the Leaf, who also happens to be the savior of the world.” Iruka pauses and there is a long, drawn-out silence before his footsteps draw nearer to Sasuke.

Sasuke does not move a muscle, his body only tenses minutely. He does not know what to expect from his old teacher, and he is not entirely sure that Naruto’s wishes will be enough to keep him safe from this man.

Then there is the sharp pain of tape being torn from flesh and suddenly Sasuke can see once more. The light blinds him for several moments, and he squints, trying to help his eyes adjust.

“Sasuke Uchiha, you are hereby released into my custody, where you will be monitored day and night. You will be under house arrest for a full year before being granted the right to walk the village. You will attend therapy sessions twice a week for a full year. You will meet daily with your parole officer to discuss your rehabilitation. You will not be allowed contact with anyone except those that your parole officer, the Hokage, or myself deem necessary. Do you understand?”

“Are there any other stipulations I need to be aware of?” Sasuke asks with a sneer, trying hard to keep his anger under control.

“After your year under house arrest, you will be allowed to leave the house, but will be confined to certain parts of the village. You will also be accompanied by an armed guard at all moments. If you do not comply with these conditions you will immediately be reconvicted and Naruto will have no say in whether or not you are in the clear.” Iruka’s voice is tight and formal, all too similar to Kakashi’s. His eyes are almost blank, but there is a delicate fire that burns behind them that Sasuke can pick up on.These are not the eyes of the gentle, understanding teacher he once had the privilege of knowing. These are the eyes of someone who wants to tear him to shreds. “Do you understand?”

Sasuke stares at his old teacher, only slightly taken aback by his tone, and his anger. He half wishes that Iruka would just kill him; it would be easier than the path he currently was on.

“I do.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I didn't expect to get so much feedback so quickly! That's so great, I love all the comments and stuff you guys, keep them coming. I want to clear something up, just so we're all on the same page: this is a fix-it fic. It takes place almost directly after the Fourth Great Shinobi War and Naruto's final battle with Sasuke where (spoiler) they both lost their dominant arm. Because -in my humble opinion- Sasuke's redemption arc was so shitty, I decided to make it a little more lengthy and fulfilling. The reason that Kakashi, Iruka, and co. are acting this way is because that Sasuke hasn't really done anything redeemable in their eyes. So that's where they're at. If you have any questions please leave a comment or something and I'll happily answer! I will try and update every sunday or every other sunday, but no promises since I have other obligations. Thanks for the great feedback guys!!

Sasuke stares at the hardwood ceiling, his hand behind his head, the wind outside his window making enough racket that he can’t sleep peacefully. It had also been ages since he’d had the privilege of sleeping in an actual bed, and not on the cold stone of a cave or the delicate sway of a tree branch.

How long had it been since the end of the Fourth Great Shinobi War? How long had it been since he’d been in this village? How long since he’d known the youth of his childhood? It felt like far too long. He’d been stuck in that cell for who knows how long. He’d been stuck in his own head for who knows how long.

He felt an ache in his heart, familiar yet unwanted. He missed Itachi. He missed the times when he didn’t hate his brother. He missed the times when he looked up to him. He missed the times when they were family. When he _had_ a family.

Sasuke rolls onto his side, his cheek resting against his palm. It had been two weeks since he’d been moved into Iruka’s house. An unbearable two weeks. He hadn’t heard from Naruto or Sakura. Hadn’t even heard from Kakashi. Iruka spoke to him as little as possible and his new therapist wasn’t that fond of him either.

Stuck in the house all day he could do nothing more than read or clean or meditate. And after a while even those things got boring. How was he supposed to handle a full year of this? With the only social interaction to be with a therapist who couldn’t care less about him and a former teacher that undoubtedly hated his guts? Where was that annoying, orange-haired, little-

The sharp crack of a stone against his window causes Sasuke to start, pulling himself into a sitting position, Sharingan already at the ready.

Slowly, very slowly, Sasuke stands up, careful to keep himself out of view from the window outside. There is another sharp crack as another stone hits the window, this time hard enough to leave a small crack.

Surely this wasn’t some random villager, out to kill Sasuke? They had a curfew that was strictly enforced. But who in the hell could this be, if not someone trying to kill him?

_“Sasuke!”_

The voice is a harsh whisper, raised just above the crying wind.

Sasuke sighs. Of course it is. Who else would risk getting thrown in jail just to throw stones at someone’s window?

Sasuke softly steps towards the window and opens it, letting in the cool air. Another stone flies at him but he dodges it easily, his Sharingan still active.

“Watch it, you idiot! I’m right here.” He looks down at the orange-haired, grinning ninja beneath him, an aggravated look on his face. “What are you doing here, Naruto?”

“What do you think! I’m here to see you!” Naruto grins up at his former teammate, not a care in the world. He’s wrapped in a long coat, one arm on his hip, the other billowing with the wind.

Sasuke smirks. The one-armed brothers.

“Well?” Naruto whisper-shouts at him, now looking vaguely annoyed. “Are you coming down or not?”

“I can’t, Naruto,” Sasuke tells him. “I’m under house arrest.”

“That’s what Kakashi-sensei said. But c’mon. A midnight walk will help you! Besides, who’s going to notice?”

“How about the two guards that are supposed to be on _guard duty_.”

“Oh, them?” Naruto asks, now grinning very widely. “Don’t worry, I took care of it.”

“What does that mean?”

  
\---  


Sasuke stares up at the night sky, taking in the vast array of stars that twinkle like candlelight in the distance. The left arm of his cape swirls gently in the wind, and Naruto sits by his side, gazing at the stars with him.

There is a long, drawn-out silence that fills the small space between them, and neither of them know how to fill it with words.

“So,” Naruto begins, swinging his feet gently -like a child- over the open space beneath them. They are sat on the rooftop of one of the few buildings that survived in the Uchiha compound, the farthest place they could get from Iruka and any prying eyes. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been locked up in a small house with a man who hates me, Naruto,” Sasuke snaps, “how do you think I’ve been?” As soon as he sees Naruto’s face, Sasuke regrets his harsh tone. But there’s no taking it back now. “How is the Savior of the Leaf?”

There is only the slightest sneer in his voice.

“I’m alright. Kakashi-sensei has me working to the bone on my Jonin material.” Naruto laughs for a moment, realizing something. “I guess you’re gonna have to be doing the same when you’re allowed out.” He grins cheekily at Sasuke, running his fingers through his blonde hair, making it messier than it already is.

“I’m already way above you, Naruto. Why would I need to bother with that?” Sasuke challenges, only half joking. He’s not quite sure who is the better ninja now, he doubts that it really matters. When they both lost their arms in their final battle, it made the point moot.

“Because it’s required! I can’t become the Hokage if I’m not a Jonin. And you can’t be my right hand if you’re not a Jonin either!”

Sasuke stares at him, taken aback slightly. This wasn’t a topic he had been expecting to discuss. Certainly not now, hopefully not ever. He knows all too well what the current Hokage thinks of him -and Kakashi was his former teacher- he can’t even begin to imagine what the rest of the village thinks.

He shifts uncomfortably, trying to avoid Naruto’s eyes by continuing to observe the inky, black horizon. “Naruto, I’m not going to be your right hand.”

Naruto stares at his friend. “What?”

Sasuke bites the bullet and shifts his cold gaze to Naruto. “I am not going to be your right hand.” There is a chill in his voice that was not there before. “It won’t happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because the world hates me.”

There is a heavy silence.

Then, softly: “I don’t.”

Sasuke shakes his head, irritated. This wasn’t what Sasuke wanted to discuss. This wasn’t what Naruto wanted to discuss. Why couldn’t the reckless boy just leave it alone? All Sasuke had wanted was to get out of the damn house, not break Naruto’s heart further. He’d had enough of that, lately. He knew Naruto had had enough of it. Why couldn’t he see that Sasuke was trying to fix things? Not break them further. “It doesn’t matter what you think, Naruto. I am a terrorist. A murderer. A rogue ninja.”

“You aren’t! You’ve been pardoned. Kakashi-sensei made sure of that.”

Sasuke scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Kakashi-sensei only pardoned me because of you, Naruto. Nothing else. He would have seen me hanged if he could have had his way.”

“That’s not true! Kakashi-sensei cares about you. You’re part of team seven. Nothing will change that.” Naruto is on the verge of tears, his eyes beginning to redden and his voice cracking slightly.

“Everything changed the moment I decided to follow Orochimaru,” Sasuke hisses, his eyes burning into Naruto’s own. “Nothing will be the same ever again. It doesn’t matter what the Savior of the Leaf says. I will _never_ be part of this village.”

Sasuke stands quickly, angry now, his cloak flapping in the wind. “I have to get back to the house. If I’m missing, the Hokage won’t be happy.”

“Sasuke-”

Before Naruto can get out another word Sasuke is leaping from rooftop to rooftop, making his way back to his current prison.

  
  


\----------

 

Sasuke stares at Shikamaru, nonplussed and more than a little pissed. “You’re my parole officer?”

“I am.” Shikamaru is looking down at a piece of paper that he holds in his hand, reading carefully. “And I would appreciate it if you’d shut up now.”

Sasuke sits opposite to him, on the couch in Iruka’s home and glares at his newly appointed parole officer. It certainly fits that his parole officer would be the man who hated him more than any other. Sasuke sighs, then leans back and places his arm over the back of the couch, trying to relax. There’s nothing he can do about it now, might as well try and handle it as best he can.

“So,” Sasuke starts, trying to keep his voice calm, “how is Sakura? I haven’t seen her since I’ve gotten back.”

“Yes.”

“Is she still a medic ninja?”

Shikamaru makes a noncommittal noise.

“Will you tell me anything about her?”

“No. I won’t. You haven’t earned that right.”

“You don’t think she would want to know that I’ve been asking about her?” Sasuke snaps, losing his temper.

“She won’t care.”

Sasuke scoffs and rolls his eyes. “We both know that’s not true.”

Shikamaru looks up from his report, eyeing Sasuke and trying to decide if he should even respond to this jab at Sakura’s character.

After a few seconds, he responds. “She’s given up on you. Nobody in the Leaf wants you here - except Naruto, of course - and she understands why. She’s chosen to take herself out of the equation.” His dark, intelligent eyes bore into Sasuke’s and he knows that Shikamaru is telling the truth. Or at least some form of it. Sasuke still can’t believe that Sakura would completely remove herself from him, no matter what she said. And, hopefully, with a little help that won’t happen. Sasuke doesn’t love Sakura, not in the way the she always wanted him to, but he does care about her. He cares about her more than almost anybody. And that had to mean something.

There is a tight feeling in his chest that he doesn’t quite understand, but he ignores it. “I see.” He looks away, staring out a window to his left. “I didn’t realize that I’d hurt her so badly. I assumed that she would always be by my side, if no one else was.”

It’s Shikamaru’s turn to snort. “You tried to kill both her and Naruto multiple times.” There is anger in his voice. “You don’t even deserve to be alive, let alone have friends. You’re a murderer and a _traitor_ , Sasuke. Not some war hero like Naruto seems to think. You-”

“Shikamaru,” a familiar voice interrupts the parole officer. “I think you should go cool off. I can handle Sasuke from here.” Iruka steps into the living room, looking slightly disheveled; late night missions were a struggle for him lately.

Shikamaru gives Iruka a respectful nod, and stands. Sighing, he pulls on his cloak, buttoning it and staring at Sasuke as he says, “I’ll be back tomorrow for our next meeting. We’ll discuss then what you think would be the best path for you to take when you get out of here.”

“Okay.” Sasuke says nothing more but the air crackles around them. The two had never been friends, not even good acquaintances, but now it is very clear that they can be nothing more than human beings to one another. That’s just enough to keep Shikamaru from breaking Sasuke’s neck, much as he wants to. And the fact that Naruto would never forgive him, if he ever did such a thing.

So with that Shikamaru nods and walks out, closing the door behind him with a bang.

“You can’t blame Shikamaru for acting the way he is,” Iruka says, pouring a glass of water for both him and Sasuke and sitting on the couch.

“No.”

“He trusts a frog to have better morals than you do now.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know why that is?”

Sasuke snaps his head towards his former sensei, eyes burning. “Of course I do. I tried to destroy his village. His home.” _More than that,_ Sasuke thinks, _I tried to kill the people he considers family._

Iruka shakes his head, smiling a little. “That’s only part of it. You abandoned the village and followed Orochimaru.” He pauses for a moment, taking Sasuke in with eyes that don’t burn with hate but are not filled with love or kindness in any sense of the words. Then, almost as if reading Sasuke’s mind, he says, “You chose power over your own _family_.”

“They aren’t my family,” Sasuke interrupts, huffing and growing angrier. Because it’s true. When he took that Chidori to Sakura’s back (and that kunai, and that kamui and god knows what else), he never expected to call her or Naruto or anyone else family ever again. Not after Itachi. And calling them family now only seems to pour salt into the many, ever present wounds and Sasuke is _done_ hurting people yet he can’t seem to stop. He can’t take back any of his actions and he can’t atone for any of his sins because he’s locked in this _goddamned house_ and all he wants to do is _leave._ Leave and never return. Follow a path that no shinobi dares to follow because they _can’t_ follow it. Because only he can. Only Sasuke is capable of spiraling into such darkness while simultaneously keeping the darkness at bay.

Iruka breaks into his spiraling thoughts and Sasuke manages to snap back to the present. “They are, Sasuke. They’re the only family that has mattered in the past few years. Naruto was the only one who vouched for you when they marked you as a rogue ninja. Even Sakura was willing to kill you to keep the village safe.” Iruka pauses, taking a breath and nursing the water in his hands. “Naruto begged the Raikage to keep you safe and to remove the bounty. He followed him all the way to the Land of Iron. For you. And you tried to kill him. Him and Sakura and many others.” Iruka stares at Sasuke, trying to catch his former student’s eye. “Shikamaru is going to be Naruto’s right hand. He trusts Naruto with his life. He would follow Naruto to the ends of the Earth; we all would. But Shikamaru is the only one who is capable of being his right hand and he will not allow you to ruin Naruto any further than you already have. Do you understand?”

And Sasuke nods, because he does. He understands more than anyone what it’s like to want to protect someone’s legacy. He is an Uchiha, after all.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!! Okay three things: 1) early update because I'll be out of town this weekend and this was already drafted up so I didn't have to do a lot to it. 2) if you are going to comment about how much you hate the direction this fic is going, then you can kindly leave. I understand that some of you are upset about how Sasuke is being treated (even though, hot take: therapy isn't torture), but this is how I view things and I how I view the characters, given their decisions IN SHOW. If you don't like it, you don't have to read it. Simple as that. 3) I really don't mind having debates about Sasuke, I love it actually. I think he's an interesting character and the way they developed him could have been really rad. I just don't like doing it in the comments. If you want to have a legitimate conversation about it, my main tumblr is @sassypenguine and my side is @summershippuden (the latter is completely empty, but intended for fics). Anyway, I hope you all enjoy where this is going, because I think the show fucked up a lot in the end, especially with Sasuke (not to mention the entirety of the village/shinobi system, thank u third hokage). Have a good day you guys!

Naruto twirls a kunai on his one good hand, letting the weighty blade twist itself around and around his finger. He lays on the couch in the Hokage’s office, sprawled out and huffy because of the absence of his former senpai.

He was supposed to be here already goddamnit. Naruto had scheduled a meeting with him three weeks ago, how hard is it for Kakashi-sensei to be on time? 

Naruto throws the kunai, watching as it lands with a dull thud in the frame of the door. The wood splits and then begins to sizzle and burn up. Naruto smiles in satisfaction, he’d been working on that trick for a while now. Altering an explosion tag on the kunai to make it burn, rather than, well, explode- was something he’d always wanted to try. His dad has been handy with seals, and he was trying to learn the basics of them so he could create his own.

Just then the door opens and Kakashi steps in, dressed in his white robes and hat, looking a little worn for wear.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto immediately starts chastising his former teacher for being late, “I’ve been here for  _ ages _ . Why can’t you ever be on time?”

“I’m sorry, Naruto, but I’ve been very busy. Being the Hokage isn’t always a walk in the park. You should be prepared for that, when the time comes.” Kakashi is stressed and tired and simply wants to lay down and take a long nap, Naruto can tell. He would almost feel bad for his old sensei if it wasn’t for the fact that he was here to discuss something incredibly important.

“I know, Kakashi-sensei, but I  _ need  _ to talk to you about Sasuke.”

“We’ve been through this, Naruto. I cannot release Sasuke from house arrest. It’s part of the deal that  _ you  _ signed.” 

“But sensei, come  _ on.  _ Sasuke isn’t a danger to the village and you know that! He’s not a danger to anyone anymore.” Naruto is insistent on this point and he is willing to do anything,  _ anything _ , to prove himself right and to correct the wrong that has been committed against Sasuke. 

“That may be so but he still murdered a number of civilians  _ and  _ shinobi and deserves to be punished for it,” Kakashi reasons, teetering close to snapping. “You know this better than anyone.”

“He didn’t mean to, Kakashi-sensei, he was just-“

“He didn’t  _ mean to?”  _ Kakashi sputters, incredulous and astonished. “Naruto, are you out of your damn mind? He tried to kill you  _ and  _ Sakura. He would have put a chidori through her back if I hadn’t been there  _ and  _ he would have put a kunai through her chest if  _ you  _ hadn’t been there.” Kakashi stares at Naruto, clearly astonished that he is defending his best friend so vehemently.

“He was traumatized, Kakashi,” Naruto growls, his fists balling. “How can you not see that he was being manipulated by Tobi?” He nearly says “Obito” but stops himself just in time. There was no need to bring up the fact that Kakashi’s former best friend had followed a similar path as Sasuke - and had died for it. 

“I see it perfectly well, Naruto, but there are a lot of people that are traumatized that don’t try and destroy their home.” Kakashi looks pointedly at Naruto, seeming to understand the words he did not say. Naruto looks down at the floor, tears springing to his eyes in frustration.

Why did it have to be like this? Sasuke was Naruto’s  _ best friend _ , not some rogue ninja who had only just entered the village. Sasuke was  _ born  _ here. He was an Uchiha -and a damned good one, at that- he was a true Konoha shinobi. He didn’t deserve to be thrown away like some trash they had discovered had no value.

With a sigh, Kakashi takes a step forward and places an arm around Naruto -his student, his savior, and his friend- and pulls him in for a gentle hug. “This is the best path for him,” he says gently. “We don’t know how the village would react. This way, everyone can get acclimated to their new environments and get comfortable with the idea of Sasuke staying in the village.” 

“Why can’t I see him?” There is a shard in Naruto’s throat, it feels like, and he tries to swallow to force it down. It doesn’t help much. He didn’t want to have to sneak around every night to see the man who had changed his life forever, not when he could just walk into Iruka-sensei’s house and talk to him like a normal human being.

Kakashi hums a soft note, trying to be as gentle with his words as possible. “We want to assess his mental state before putting anyone in danger.”

“What about Iruka-sensei?” Because Naruto knows better than anyone what Sasuke’s power level is. It rivals his own, if not exceeds it.

“Iruka can handle himself.”

“Sasuke would never hurt anyone.” There is pain and bitterness in that tone. A hurt that goes beyond meer denial, but argues the truth beyond all measure. It knows loneliness and heartache and fatigue. It knows Sasuke Uchiha.

Kakashi releases his student, but does not move away from him. He knows all too well the pain of losing someone dear and watching them follow a path that only the worst would follow. But he also knows that Obito got what he deserved, in the end, even if he did die as a friend. And that if it wasn’t for Minato-sensei, his best friend would have died at Kakashi’s own hands. Perhaps that’s why he’s being so protective of Naruto, because he does not want to push this fine young man to the lengths that he was forced to go to. He only wishes good things for Naruto, but he also wants his student (his almost-surrogate son) to see Sasuke for what he really is: a traitor and a murderer.

“Naruto,” he starts, sighing only minutely, “I know this is difficult. You must trust me when I say that I know. But Sasuke is here because of  _ his  _ actions. He is being punished for what  _ he  _ did. He may have been traumatized, but so have thousands of other Shinobi, yourself included. Not all of us end up betraying our village and trying to destroy it. Or trying to kill the ones that we should call family. 

“Sasuke, up until he came and joined the Allied Forces, was labeled a rogue ninja for good reason. But we are not abandoning him. We are also trying to help him became the man that  _ you _ see in him. And we need your help to do that. You will see your friend again, I promise. But give it time. We want to make sure he’s as dedicated to his path as much as you are.”

“But what about all the  _ good  _ he’s done? What about locking him in isolation is helpful to him?” Naruto is getting angry, he finally looks up at his former sensei and his eyes are filled with tears. He is hurting. He is hurting because he knows Sasuke like he knows himself. He knows that Sasuke would never hurt anyone unless they were in his way. He was a Leaf Shinobi, through-and-through, and nothing could change that. Not even Sasuke himself.  

“Right now, it’s just to make sure that Sasuke is willing to walk the right path,” Kakashi continues, treading lightly. “We must acknowledge that Sasuke can be unpredictable at the best of times. He is as much as my student as he’s always been, but-”

“You don’t act like it, Kakashi-sensei.” The words are almost spit out, the closest thing Naruto can come to without being entirely disrespectful.

“No. I don’t.” Kakashi gives a light smile that only just reaches his eyes. “But Sasuke doesn’t need me to be his friend right now. That’s what you are for.” Kakashi gives Naruto a pointed look, seeming to already have found out about last night’s intrusion and escape. “And with any luck, Sasuke will have his friend back sooner than he thinks. And he will continue on the path that he should have gone down all those years ago. With your help, Naruto, anything is possible where Sasuke is concerned.”

Kakashi looks around at his desk, his eyes catching the enormous stack of papers piled on his desk. He sighs, then turns back to Naruto. “I know this is asking a lot, but can we continue this later? I have lots of paperwork to do.”

Naruto doesn’t answer for a moment, just looks out the window, watching as a flock of birds fly by. “I guess, sensei.” He’s a little heartbroken, a little torn, but he does not wish to anger his former sensei, and he knows that this conversation is only going to continue going round in circles. 

Kakashi nods, somewhat reluctantly, and smiles, placing both of his hands on Naruto’s shoulders and staring into his former-student’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I know that you hate this. But try and trust the system we are attempting to build. Because we are building it together. And hopefully, Konoha will be better for it.” 

Naruto nods, wiping the tears from his eyes as Kakashi releases him and bows to his Hokage. “Thank you, Lord Hokage,” he says, more than a little solemn.

“Thank you, Naruto.” Kakashi pauses, clearly torn between saying something else and leaving the conversation as is. He goes for the latter. “You are dismissed.”

Naruto turns on his heel, still clearly upset, and walks out of the office, closing the door softly behind him.

  
  


\------

  
  


Kakashi sits at his desk, his feet up and his head tilted back, half-asleep and incredibly exhausted. He has discarded his robe and his hat and changed into an ANBU uniform that someone had kindly left in the office closet.

_ Tsunade, why did you have to leave me with this job?  _ Kakashi thinks, running both hands over his face, attempting to wipe away his weariness. 

Moonlight seeps in through one of the windows in the office, making the papers scattered around his desk turn silver and the books on the shelves glow. Despite his exhaustion, Kakashi is proud of the work he’s done today and he knows that they are on the path to change. Hopefully, with a little work and a little cooperation, they could fix the mistakes of their predecessors and create a world in which justice is served in the proper manner.

_ It will take time,  _ Kakashi thinks,  _ but I will do right by you, Minato-sensei. And you Obito. And Itachi. And all the others that have been wronged by this Shinobi system.  _

Just then there is a knock at the door, hopefully signalling the end of Kakashi’s lengthy work day. 

“Come in,” he says aloud, weariness more than evident.

The door opens and Shikamaru steps through, papers piled high in his arms, smiling a little at Kakashi’s unkempt hair and the circles under his eyes. “Hard day at work, Lord Hokage?”

“I’ve told you not to call me that, Shikamaru,” Kakashi immediately chastises. “And yes, very exhausting.” He pauses, running a hand through his hair and sighing. “Naruto came and talked to me this morning.”

“Yes, I heard. He sounded upset about Sasuke’s detainment.”

“Can you blame the kid?” Kakashi asks, somewhat sullenly. “He’s in love with him and he doesn’t even realize it. It’s hard seeing someone you love in a situation that you can’t help them out of.”

Shikamaru nods, seeming to understand. It’s just then that Kakashi remembers that Kurenai and Asuma’s baby is due in a couple months, and that Shikamaru is slated to be the god father. He no doubt wishes that Asuma was here right now, to help Kurenai and himself in the difficult process. “Sasuke is having a difficult time of it as well. For different reasons,” Shikamaru states, walking towards the Hokage’s desk, carefully sidestepping the other piles of paper scattered around the room.

Kakashi hums, giving Shikamaru a sidelong look. “I heard you had a heated conversation with him today.”

The younger shinobi flushes, looking down at the stack in his hands. “I… I lost my temper, I’ll admit. But Sasuke needs to know where we’re all coming from.” He pauses, shifting on his feet a little, trying to quash his nerves. “Not many people trust him, after what he’s done.”

“No,” Kakashi agrees, “I certainly don’t. It’s hard to trust someone who vowed to kill your friends and family, but Naruto has vouched for him, and Sasuke is being given a second chance.”

“More like fifth chance,” Shikamaru mutters, not too quietly.

Kakashi chuckles, his eyes crinkling in sympathy. “I know you don’t like him, Shikamaru, but that’s why I made you his parole officer. You are capable of telling him the truth and not sugar coating it, like some others would. I also trust you to report back everything he says and does directly to me.” Kakashi twirls in his chair, spinning around once and then standing and stretching his arms above his head. “Now-” he yawns, teetering a little on his feet, “what are all those papers in your hands?”

“Mission reports,” Shikamaru responds, smiling as Kakashi rolls his eyes. “They need to be finished by tomorrow at 12 o’clock sharp, Lord Hokage.”

“Don’t call me that,” Kakashi whines, taking the stack of papers from his junior. “You know I hate it.”

“I know,” Shikamaru says, grinning, “but I have to torture you somehow, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi lets out an angry huff, setting the papers down with a soft thunk, and giving Shikamaru a look that says  _ if you weren’t my friend, I would have killed you by now _ and sits down at his desk. “Well, let’s get started, I suppose.”

Shikamaru settles into a chair opposite Kakashi, taking the first set of papers from the stack and handing Kakashi his copy. “Some of the border patrol were having trouble on the Hidden Mist border,” Shikamaru states, leafing through the report. “Nothing too nasty, as nobody wants to start any kind of war again, but words were exchanged.”

Kakashi rolls his eyes, trying to hold back his annoyance as much as possible. How their world has survived this long when border disputes are as prevalent as ever is beyond him. And how Minato-sensei managed to survive this job as long as he did is beyond him as well. “Well,” he sighs, “that’s unsurprising, I suppose. I was hoping that we would have a little more time where we could all be friends, but if the Mist is already baring its teeth, then god knows what the other villages will do.” He sets the paper down and signs it, watching as Shikamaru signs his own. They swap papers and write their respective signatures on those papers as well.

“So, how did you know,” Shikamaru asks, leafing through the next report with only vague interest.

“Know what?”

“About my… outburst this morning.”

Kakashi hums, grinning beneath his mask. “I have my ways, Shikamaru.”

Shikamaru pauses, finger poised on paper, holding his place in the middle of a sentence. “Iruka, that bastard,” he hisses.

Kakashi laughs, shaking his head in disbelief at Shikamaru’s words. “You would have told me, if I hadn’t brought it up, I trust.”

Shikamaru rolls his eyes and continues reading. “Yes, but I like telling you things directly,” he states, “not through a second-hand party.”

Kakashi hums again, signing and then swapping and then signing again. This part of the job wasn’t that bad, necessarily. It was relaxing, sitting with someone he now considered to be a friend and whose advice he relied heavily upon. Shikaku would be proud of his son, if he could see him. So would a lot of other fathers and mothers.

Kakashi sighs, setting down another report, and leans back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head. “Read me the next few reports and then we can go home. I don’t think I can keep my eyes open any longer.”

“This one is about a rogue-ninja that was spotted west of our borders. He hasn’t crossed over yet, but he’s been spotted multiple times in the Hidden Grass.”

“Do we know who it is?” 

“No, nobody has seen him in person. Just traces.”

“Ah, then tell border patrol to keep a lookout. He might be friendly, who knows. Lots of nin went missing after the war.”

“I’ll see to it, Kakashi-sensei.” There is the rustling of paper and the scratching of a pen as Shikamaru signs where he’s supposed to. Then: “This one states that-” he cuts himself off, glancing up at his Hokage. The older shinobi is asleep, his breathing deep and steady, moonlight washing over his relaxed features. Shikamaru sighs, but not resignedly. He knows that he’s constantly exhausted, he can’t imagine how Kakashi feels.

He stands, stretching, and gives the office a once over. With any luck, Kakashi won’t have to handle the role much longer. Naruto should take his rightful place here soon enough, and then the real work would begin. 

Shikamaru shakes Kakashi’s shoulder, gently rousing his senior and pulling him up. “I think you need some rest, Lord Hokage,” Shikamaru says softly, a smile gracing his face. 


	4. Chapter 4

“So, how are you adjusting to life back in Konoha, Sasuke?” 

Sasuke rolls his eyes, his legs crossed and eyes narrowed, sitting yet again on a seat across from someone who thought that they had his best interests in mind. “Fine,” he snips, “or as fine as I can get when I’m locked in this fucking house all day.”

His therapist nods in sympathy, her black hair falling from her loose bun and settling around her face. “I know it’s difficult. Being locked inside a house all day is never fun, but even less fun for a Shinobi of your stature. I imagine you need a lot stimulation to keep yourself busy.”

“Yes.”

His therapist, Hiroko Sawabe, smiles at him, clearly frustrated by his lack of response. “Sasuke,” she leans forward, resting her arms on her crossed legs and staring him dead in the eye, “this will not be helpful for you if you fight me at every turn. I need you to open up. I know you’ve had a traumatic past, that’s what I’m trying to help you through. I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to listen and to guide.”  
Sasuke stares at her, distrustful and wary. This was his third appointment with Hiroko and he still couldn’t tell whether this woman was truly trying to help him or simply following the Hokage’s orders. The attempt by his previous therapist to get him to open up had been laughable at best. It had been made abundantly clear that he cared nothing for Sasuke, only the fact that he’d been chosen by the Hokage himself for this task. It didn’t take long for Kakashi to understand what was happening and terminate the low-life, arranging for a new therapist to take over Sasuke’s treatment in a matter of hours. Hence his distrust of Hiroko and her true intentions.

Sasuke had known a number of people who were simply trying to use him, knew a number of people who thought they  _ could  _ use him, knew a number of people who  _ had  _ used him. It was very rare for Sasuke Uchiha to come across a person who truly wanted to help him, and he wasn’t about to thrust trust out to a woman he hardly knew.

“What?” Hiroko breaks into his thoughts, still leaning forward and waiting for a response. “I know you’re thinking something. Tell me what it is.” Her voice isn’t harsh or demanding, in fact it’s quite the opposite. It’s sweet and tender and sounds oddly like how he remembers his mother’s voice sounding.

Sasuke pauses, mouth half open, eyes narrowed, struggling to form a coherent thought that doesn’t make him sound like a complete and total asshole yet again. He  _ wants  _ to trust this woman, if only because he knows that she could very well help him, but he’s still very wary of anyone who he hasn’t had the chance to get to know.

“I don’t trust you,” he eventually states, not exactly kindly.

Hiroko leans back in her seat, her legs still crossed but smiling a genuine smile. “I could have told you that from our first session. But I’m glad you’ve stated it outloud. Why don’t you trust me?”

“I don’t know you.”

Hiroko nods, understanding. “Would you prefer to ask me some questions, instead of the other way round?”

Sasuke narrows his eyes, trying to gauge whether this is a test or something else. “What kind of questions?”

“Any kind,” she responds. “I’ve asked you more than enough since you’ve become my patient, I think you deserve a turn. Especially if it helps with you opening up to me, your therapist, the person trying to help you.”

This last bit seems to be both a jab and an accusation at the same time, and Sasuke rolls his eyes. “You’re here as another babysitter for me. Don’t try and tell me that you actually enjoy your job.”

“I do, actually,” she counters, looking a little surprised and offended at his own accusation. “I enjoy helping people. And I enjoy seeing people help themselves. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Even with a patient like me?”

“Even with a patient like you, Sasuke.” She pauses for a moment, then says, “Even you deserve to get some help. With your childhood and your teenage years being cluttered by trauma, I imagine that you need a lot of help.”

“You think something’s wrong with me?” Sasuke immediately closes himself off again, leaning back as far as he can go without falling off the back of the couch. His eyes go dark and he wears the same look that he always does when he see anyone who is not an ally.

“No, I don’t. I see someone who has been neglected and manipulated, but not someone that has something wrong with them.” Hiroko’s voice is soft, yet firm. It’s all too like his mother’s and he has to stop himself from revisiting past memories. “I know that you have been hearing a lot of things lately, but you are still a human being and you are still a Konoha Shinobi. More than that, you are a part of Konoha itself. No doubt the world wouldn’t be standing if it weren’t for you.”

“Not everyone believes that,” Sasuke states, half rolling his eyes in annoyance. “And-”

“Whether they believe it or not, it’s true,” she cuts him off. “You come from an honorable family. You have made a lot of poor decisions, but they are past decisions. And-”

“The past is in the past, I know,” he finishes her sentence for her. She repeated the damn mantra every single session and had managed to drill it into his head. “That doesn’t mean I don’t have to atone for those decisions.”

“No, I agree.” Hiroko brushes a strand of her hair behind her ear, eyeing Sasuke carefully. “But that’s what you’re doing right now, is it not?”

Sasuke shrugs, looking off to the side, trying to appear as if he couldn’t be bothered with the conversation. “Everyone agrees that I should be dead. Except Naruto, the idiot. He’s the only one who’s upset about this whole arrangement.”

“Naruto is a good man, even if I haven’t had the privilege to meet him. I’ve heard wonderful things, but that doesn’t mean that he’s right in every given situation.”

Sasuke gives a wry smile, not really sure how to respond. Naruto was a better man than he was, that was for sure. But his constant optimism about the state of the world could be irritating at best and detrimental at worst. To be fair to his dobe though, he hadn’t lost many battles since Sasuke had left the village, and he had saved countless lives in that time, including Sasuke’s own.

Sasuke understood that his and Naruto’s views on the world were similar, but their ways about changing that world were completely different. Sasuke knew that the only way to bring about a rapid change was to raze the current system to the ground, and rebuild it so that it could be better, stronger, and more suited to the current needs of the people. Naruto had no such view, and it was one of the many things that they came into conflict about.

Hiroko’s voice interrupts his thoughts and he realizes that it’s probably been a while since she last spoke. “I think our time is up today.” She smiles at him, packing up her stuff and speaking at the same time. “I’ll be back in a couple days. I want you to think of some questions to ask me. If you don’t trust me, then I want to fix that and get to the base of why you don’t trust individuals that are set on helping you.” She pauses for a moment, looks at Sasuke directly, and says, “I truly want to see you get better, Sasuke. I know you can be an incredible young man, but there are some things you need to work through first so that others can see that too. Naruto and I aren’t the only ones that should see that potential.”

Sasuke nods, but doesn’t say anything back. He’s not sure how he wants these sessions to continue going, but he knows that he wants out of this house as quickly as possible, and the only way to do that was to go through the damn motions. So for now, he would continue being as amicable as Sasuke Uchiha could be (which is to say, not very) and hope that Kakashi or Iruka would see that he was indeed trying to follow their wishes.

  
  


\---------

 

Sakura wraps her fingers around her tea-filled mug, letting the warmth seep into her hands and through her body. Ino sits across from her, sipping her own cup of tea, letting the silence gather and settle between them. The kunoichi had a rare moment of downtime, and were making the most of it by having lunch together and catching up on things since the end of the war. 

In the aftermath, several shinobi were found to be missing, and while some had eventually made their way home, many were still lost and many others were presumed dead. Those that had made it home and were mission-ready had been sent out on countless search parties (most to no-avail, and if they did find something, it was often a body) not to mention the normal border patrols, other missions, and guard duty. So most of the Konoha Shinobi had been working to the bone for the past few weeks and all were tired and sore and in desperate need of any break they could get.

This was Sakura and Ino’s break.

Sakura had taken charge of the hospital in the wake Tsunade’s retirement, with the help of Shizune, and had been performing surgery after surgery and check-up after check-up, along with the occasional search party and mission. She was arguably one of the busiest kunoichi in the whole village, and was often difficult to find on any given day, with all her running around. 

Ino was less busy but still exhausted as she herself still had her shinobi duties as well keeping up with the family flower shop and trying to keep Shikamaru and Choji from collapsing on a day-to-day basis.

Ino is the first to break the silence, “How has Naruto been?”

Sakura smiles wanly, her fingers tightening ever-so-slightly around her mug as she brings it to her lips. “He’s alright,” she says, after taking a few sips, “he’s still upset about Sasuke.”

Ino nods in understanding. She had always been the less rational of the two girls when it came to a certain Uchiha, and despite everything, she did still love him, in a way. She had loved him since she was 12 and she doubted there was much she could do to change that, even if she tried. Love had a funny way of taking control of your heart and planting its seed there, whether it bloomed or not was irrelevant, it would remain for years to come.

“I told Shikamaru that I didn’t want to see him again,” Sakura says, staring into her cup, her lips tight and trembling slightly. “I’m still not sure if I meant it or not.”

Ino smiles, tilting her head and flashing her best friend a wicked grin. “I don’t think you could stay away from Sasuke if you tried, Forehead,” she jokes, “he’ll always be a part of you.” And that was true, too. Sakura had loved Sasuke as long as Ino had, and had loved him so fervently that it had almost gotten her killed. Sasuke was a part of Team 7, no one would ever question that, but the dynamic would always be different now. It was no longer Sasuke and Sakura, with Naruto tacked on at the end. Now it was Naruto and Sakura, with Sasuke trailing just behind. Trailing but still there. Always present, but never quite  _ within _ .

And perhaps that dynamic would change as well, but right now it was the best they could hope for.

“I know,” Sakura says, her voice breaking minutely and Ino can see tears beginning to fill her eyes, “I just wish things had turned out different. I wish that Sasuke had come back sooner and that we could be Team 7 again. The  _ old  _ Team 7, where Naruto was annoying and Sasuke was cool and confident, and I was-”

“A loser?” Ino doesn’t intend this to be mean in any sort of way. A sort of chaotic bluntness is second nature to her, so when Sakura looks slightly piqued, Ino expounds. “I just mean that when you were still Genin you were always the weakest of the three of you, right?” Sakura can’t really deny this, as much as she’d like to, so she simply nods. “And the only reason you decided to start training with Tsunade was because you wanted to get stronger; so that you could catch up to Naruto  _ and  _ Sasuke. Because you were tired of being left behind while they chased one another. You wanted to be able to bring Sasuke home yourself, with your own power, right?” Sakura nods again, this time looking a little less pissed off and a little more understanding. “Well you have that power now, don’t you? You’re just as strong as those two idiots, if not stronger.”

“Ino, I-”

“Look, Sakura,” she interrupts her friend, not willing to back down. “You may want things to go back to the way they were, but they won’t. You have to accept that. You can forgive Sasuke or you can’t. It’s up to you. But I wouldn’t want you to go back there - when we were still children and fighting over who would marry that damned Uchiha. I would want you right here and now, strong and capable and just as powerful as any Shinobi. Team 7 won’t be the same, but it can be different. And it can be a good different. Sasuke is back and Naruto is still here and you are still here. That’s the only thing you need to be Team 7, is the three of you. You three are the most powerful ninja to date, and together you’re unstoppable. You’re the Neo-Sannin of the leaf. Would you change that?”

Sakura shakes her head, now stubbornly refusing to meet her friend’s eye, agreeing but not agreeing, trying not to let tears slide down her cheeks. “No, but-“ she swallows the tightness in her throat, ever so slightly choking on her words. “But I miss the old Sasuke. The one who I loved with all my heart. The one who-” She stops, pausing to try and collect herself despite the obvious tears rolling down her face and the tightness in her chest. “The one who wasn’t a traitor,” she chokes out, barely managing to suck in a shaky breath, “or a vigilante.  _ My  _ Sasuke.” She pushes the mug of tea away from her hurriedly, putting her forehead on the edge of the table and struggling to stop herself from crying.

Thankfully, there was no one else in the diner, and the owner had moved to the back for now, so there was no one to witness the breaking of Konoha’s most famous Kunoichi.

Ino quickly moves over to Sakura’s side of the booth, sliding in and wrapping her friend in a tight hug. “I do, too,” she whispers, just loud enough for Sakura to hear. “But he’s back. And he’s here. And he’s going to get better. You know he will.” Ino pulls Sakura’s head up, tucking loose strands of pretty pink hair behind her ear. “He won’t be the same but he will be better. And that’s the best we can hope for, right?”

There are tears still sliding down her face, but Sakura seems to have control of herself now, clearly trying to maintain her breathing. It was rare for her to delve into such a state, but it happened more frequently after the war, and after she found out her parents had died. Thankfully, Ino was here and was always willing to give a shoulder to cry on, no matter the strength of the Shinobi.

Sakura wipes her eyes, resolutely not looking at her friend, and nods once, clearly finding her resolve. “You’re right, Ino,” she says, “Sasuke won’t be the same. Neither will Team 7. But I still love both of them, no matter what they do or what they go through.” She takes a deep breath, pulling her mug to her once again and taking a sip of the rapidly cooling tea. “Do you think I should see him?” she asks after a few moments of silence.  

Ino looks pensive for a moment, her green eyes staring off into the distance, clearly taking the question seriously. “No,” she eventually responds, choosing her words carefully, both for her own sake and Sakura’s. “You just had a breakdown over him not being the same. I think you should come to terms with that. Sasuke needs time to understand his own feelings and who he is. So do you. I think you could both use some space, even if it hurts.”

Sakura nods, surprised at the sage advice from her friend, and stands as Ino exits the booth. Despite Ino’s words, though, Sakura feels an ache in her chest. She loved Sasuke, she really did, but she knew that the Sasuke that she loved would never come back. And she knew that she loved the current Sasuke, but she knew Ino was right. She couldn’t bear to see him after what he’d said and did after Kaguya’s defeat, and the many times before that. She needed time to gather herself, before she could help Sasuke.

Smiling at her friend, Sakura says, “Thank you, Ino. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Ino grins at her, still her mischievous and joking self, despite the serious conversation. “Probably would have drowned in your own tears. Or better yet, ruined your reputation as Konoha’s most deadly Kunoichi.”

“Shut up,” Sakura laughs, not at all bruised by Ino’s playful banter. She gently shoves her friend, causing the blonde haired ninja to stumble a little, and says, “At least  _ I’m  _ not a pig.” She playfully pulls her nose up, giving the vague impression of a pig nose, and oinks at her counterpart.

“You little-” Ino manages to shout, now pulling her friend into a headlock, just laughing through her faux-anger, before the manager rushes out, shouting at the two girls to get out of his store, before he kicks them out.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys sorry for lack of response on comments and late update!! I had a super busy weekend last week and I just completely forgot yesterday. This chapter is largely unedited so when I have time (tomorrow) I’m going to go back and edit it but I’ll upload it now. If the format is funky sorry, I’m uploading from phone cuz I’m at work. Have a great day!

The air is chilly and vibrant. The gentle breeze that freezes the air whorls around Sasuke’s face but he takes no notice of it. The trees have turned their autumn colors and even from the rooftops of the Uchiha compound he can hear their leaves gently rustling in the wind. The village is lit up in blue, orange, and green colors - the different shades of light emanating from the number of houses and shops and dining establishments, along with the moon, giving Sasuke just enough light to write by.

The last living Uchiha sits, a moleskine notebook in his lap, his dark hair turning almost midnight blue in the moonlight. He’s dressed warmly, with a dark cape around his shoulders, the Uchiha clan symbol emblazoned on the back.

It had been three weeks since he’d seen Naruto in any sort of fashion, though he suspected the orange-haired ninja had some doing in his ability to escape when the moon was high. He also suspected that Kakashi and Iruka were not as naive as they might appear to be, and that his nightly escapades were being monitored very closely. He had the sensory skills to detect ANBU when he wanted, skilled as those Shinobi might be, and he had once or twice caught a glimpse of a fox or bear mask in his peripherals.

So it was no secret that the lone Uchiha was having late night jants, at least not to the higher ups of the village, and he was glad that he was being allowed this small privilege, even if it was not strictly within the confines of his sentence.

The paper beneath his fingers rustles, and he looks back down at his notebook, re-reading what he’s already written.

_23/11/2017_

_Meditated at 10:20 am to 11:20 pm._

_After meditating I went and walked around the house, looking at pictures of Iruka and what I assume are academy children. Naruto is in a couple of the pictures, both younger and present day. I am in one. Kakashi is in a couple as well._

_Snuck out of the house around 10:30 pm. No guards on duty. That seems odd, but I won’t question it. For now._

Sasuke sighs, shaking his head a little. Hiroko had him doing this stupid diary. She said it would help - writing down his thoughts and what he felt. He knew he wasn’t doing it quite right, but he felt like an idiot for writing down his feelings. He couldn't shake the sensation that this was what little girls did when they had a crush on someone.

_"It’s going to feel odd, writing something for no one, but it will help you understand yourself more. Especially in those moments when you’re angry or upset, writing it down is a healthy coping mechanism that will teach you how to channel your emotions into the proper places.”_

Hiroko’s words - and he supposed she knew better than he did. But he still felt stupid. And so he’d come out to the Uchiha compound to see if that could spark anything within him.

He wanted to please Hiroko, he really did. Despite his first misgivings he was beginning to like her sweet nature and gentle words. He was beginning to trust her. And she knew it. He just wished that some of the things she made him do didn’t make him feel so self-conscious.

He looks back at the moleskine, reading over his words once more, then aggravatedly turns the pages so that he can read the words written on the front cover.

_The past is in the past. You are you. No one has control over that. Who you are is not broken and does not need to be remade, just polished._

The messy scrawl of the words, the loop of the cursive, it calmed him, somehow. Hiroko was one of the very few stable and steady things in his life, and he was very thankful for that.

He just didn’t know how long it would last.

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke turns the pages delicately back to the current day, and then writes.

_Sitting on the Uchiha buildings remind me of the past. Back when Big Brother was not a mass murderer and I was not a prisoner of Konoha. I miss those days, even if they were still full of fighting. At least I knew my place in the world, back then. Or I thought I did._

_Even back then I was chasing power. I wanted to catch up and surpass Itachi, just so that my father would look at me. I needed to be better than him because I wanted to be noticed, to be given responsibility. I was jealous._

Sasuke stops for a moment, pen poised over paper, unsure of what to write next. He’d never done anything like this. He wasn’t sure how much he was supposed to write or how little, whether he should have paragraph breaks or if he should just write, whether he was supposed to end it with a goodbye or just leave everything hanging.

Sighing, Sasuke shakes his head and closes the notebook, tying the leather strap back around it and depositing it back into the inner pocket of his cloak.

The wind picks up a bit, causing Sasuke to bite back a grimace against the chill. He stretches his single arm above his head, letting his fingers splay out against the starry sky and releases a groan of irritation. He could feel the ANBU getting restless, their chakra swirling in discomfort and agitation. The cold must be getting to them.

“Damn babies,” Sasuke mutters, only loud enough for himself to hear. “Should have dressed for the weather if you were going to follow me.”

He stands, looking around him as he does, letting the wind whip his hair back from his eyes and just managing to catch a glimpse of a pair of eyes watching him from a nearby window.

He’s too far to tell who it is, but he can sense the chakra well enough, and it feels like ANBU, but the way the eyes track his movements is almost hungry. He stares back at them, hardly moving, not daring to engage his rinnegan or sharingan for fear of alerting Kakashi or any sensory type ANBU. No need to have to deal with the man in person, and Sasuke seriously doubts Kakashi could continue turning a blind eye if his nightly walks were made explicitly known.

So Sasuke simply stares, watching as the eyes blink once, twice, and then a third time, slow and serene, not at all unnerved to be staring at a high-ranking prisoner and one of the Neo-Sannin of the Leaf.

Eventually, Sasuke hears movement behind him; one of the ANBU getting antsy enough to try and coax Sasuke back into the direction of his prison. At the sound of the bushes shaking behind him, the eyes dart away, and the chakra quickly fades.

Shaking his head, a little confused but not all that concerned, Sasuke darts away, heading back towards Iruka’s house.

  


\---

 

_There is the brief and sudden chill of cold sweat dripping down his back. The feeling of a gentle breeze blowing through his hair. The smell of sulphur and a hint of ocean water. He can taste salt on his lips as he licks them, he can feel the scratching of the rope that binds his hands together, he can see only blackness._

_What is happening?_

_Then there is a voice, just heard over a series of caws._

_Crows._

_"Foolish little brother.”_

_U_ _nimaginable pain shoots through Sasuke, centered directly around his heart. His eyes snap open and he can feel his sharingan active but it’s not working. Why isn’t it working?_

_He looks down to see Kusanagi plunged through his chest, hilt deep, its black handle now covered in blood that Sasuke only vaguely registers as his own. The pain hasn’t vanished exactly, but it’s lessened and Sasuke has enough awareness to follow the hand that grips the sword’s hilt up to its face._

_Black hair. Red eyes._

_Sasuke stares at Itachi, sharingan whorling, breath just barely hitching as he realizes that his older brother has just plunged a sword through his chest._

_Pain ignites again and it feels like fire is racing itself across Sasuke’s body as Itachi tightens his grip on the blade and manages to shove it deeper. Tears well up in Itachi’s eyes, and it’s then that Sasuke realizes that the eyes that he can so easily recognize have changed and are now the equally recognizable blue of his best friend._

_Itachi’s face blurs and for a moment Sasuke thinks that he is fainting but then everything comes back into sharp focus and as the sword is ripped from his chest Naruto’s face swims into view._

_Sweat pours from Sasuke’s brow and as blood spills from his freshly made wound, he slumps over, only being caught by the bindings of his hands which are tied around the wooden post that now digs into his back._

_He cries out, and he can feel Naruto grip his chin, pulling his head back up. Sasuke lets out a pained groan, trying desperately to stay conscious as he feels Naruto’s hands grip his hair and pull him into a sitting position._

_Sasuke can’t see anymore. He’s not sure why. But the blackness has returned and he can still smell the sulphur in the air and taste the salt on his lips. Only now does he realize that it’s the taste of blood. He coughs once, twice, and then a third time, trying to rid his throat of the sticky substance, and then his hands are free._

_He falls, not bothering to catch himself, and feels water splash up onto his face. He can hear the gentle murmur of voices and then footsteps sound by his ear. He manages to snap his eyes open again._

_Someone roughly pulls him into a sitting position and as he looks around he is in a hospital. Konoha’s hospital. The floor is no longer made of water but of clean tile and as he regains his senses he realizes that the wound to his heart is no longer present._

_He looks down. He’s wearing a Shinobi flak jacket, with a dark undershirt that has the Uchiha crest emblazoned on one shoulder. His chest is no longer covered in blood and he can see that while his hands have old scars covering them, they don’t bear any sort of indicator that they had been recently bound. His sharingan is activated and working. He can breathe._

_He looks around, expecting to see a face to accompany the voices and the footsteps that he heard but there’s nobody. It’s just him, sitting in a chair, in a clean, white hospital room. He stands, taking note of the lack of pain upon doing so, and walks to a nearby window that overlooks the village._

_It’s midday, people mill about on the streets below and Sasuke can hear their laughter and their chatter as they shop and go about their business. It’s peaceful, as it should be._

_Sasuke starts as a door opens behind him and he turns to see Sakura standing there, a clipboard in her hands. She smiles at him and gives him a small wave. “Sasuke-kun,” she says as way of greeting._

_Sasuke takes a step towards her, about to ask what the hell is going on and whether or not he is free to leave, when suddenly he realizes that Sakura is very close to him._

_She has managed to shift several feet in a matter of milliseconds and then it is only a second after coming to this realization that Sasuke notices something else._

_The sticky sweet scent of blood._

_He feels warm liquid on his hand and he looks down and realizes that he’s plunged Kusanagi into Sakura’s stomach._

_He looks into her face._

_Pain. Unimaginable pain. “Sas…uke…”_

_Then Sakura is crumpling to the floor and Sasuke just manages to catch her and he can feel blood and sweat and heat around him and the aroma of-_

“Sasuke!” A sharp voice cuts in and Sasuke sits bolt upright, breathing ragged and quick. His sharingan is active and whorling and for a second the image of Sakura dying in his arms is burned onto his retina and it’s all he can see. Then the image passes and he manages to slow his breathing, sucking in air and grasping the sheets under him with a tight grip.

“Sasuke!” Iruka’s voice calls from downstairs once again, this time a little more agitated and a little less understanding. “Breakfast is ready! Come and eat before it gets cold!”

Sasuke rises, a little shaky, and quickly changes into proper clothing. “I’ll be down in a minute,” he responds, trying not to anger his former teacher anymore than he already has.

He washes his hands and face, trying to shake off the effects of his nightmare with the cold water that spills from the tap. The window in his bathroom is wide open, which he doesn’t remember doing, but Iruka comes up here often, so it’s plausible that the chunin came into the bathroom and cracked the window, hoping to let the air flow throughout the house. But Sasuke is tired and on edge, and he stares at it, half expecting to see a pair of illuminating eyes staring back at him.

But he doesn’t and there isn’t, so he dries his face off with a towel and proceeds downstairs to eat. The dream startled and scared him -he’d never had the privilege of having such a vivid nightmare- but he knew better than to tell Iruka what had kept him from breakfast or to show that he was badly shaken. Sasuke kept his mouth shut whenever possible, and this one of those times where almost nobody was privy to the thoughts going around the lone Uchiha’s head.


End file.
